So Many Thoughts

1 08 2008

We’re in Denver wrapping up a week-long visit with family and friends. It’s strange to be in my hometown and yet feel like a visitor.

When we originally set off for Gallup two months ago, we told everyone that we didn’t know the timeframe — just that we were going for the summer, at least, and that if we were coming back it would likely be before the school year started. Today is the first of August, and the new school year starts in less than two weeks.

I’m not ready to come back yet.

This has been one of the best summers I can remember. For the first time since we started having children, I feel like we’ve been able to come so much closer to fully appreciating the wonder of it all. The past two months in Gallup have been an adventure into unfamiliar territory, an exercise in simplicity, and a removal of some blinders that I think were keeping me from being able to appreciate the treasure of my family. It’s amazing to me how much God has been teaching us in a short amount of time. And while seasons of growing can often be painful, this has been simultaneously a learning experience and also a very enjoyable time.

Now I sit and contemplate the future. As much as I’ve enjoyed this short season in our lives, my concern now becomes making some important decisions while trying to maintain what we’ve learned from the summer. There are many things to determine. Living arrangements, for one. We’ve decided to stay in Gallup for a while, but where? Do we winter at the Straw Bale House (I would love to do it just once) or do we find something more practical and closer to town before the weather turns?

Schooling is another consideration. Public school? Private school? Home school? There are pros and cons with each, and while I’m leaning toward homeschooling (for this year, at least) I really don’t know what the best option would be.

And I need to make some decisions about work and income. There are several possibilities on the horizon. Do I opt for something that would be mindless but steady and risk falling back into the same rut of becoming too distracted to appreciate my family? Do I attempt to actualize a dream that challenges me and could prove highly rewarding but carries a higher risk of failure? I don’t know. Right now, I’m mostly just in prayer over what the future holds.

All of this is going through my mind while we try to take a few more moments to spend with family and friends who, by this time next week, will be 550 miles away from us again.

It’s a lot to think about, and my mind grows tired more easily these days.

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7 responses

1 08 2008
Janna

I’ve missed you so much but can really appreciate the blessings that have been bestowed upon your family. I can still love you from here – it just hurts my heart a little. Know that you are in my prayers, that God listens to your prayers and answers you. And that as a family you Sanchez’s can get through anything – even wintering at the Straw Bale House. I love you all and it was so great to see you, even for such a short time.

1 08 2008
Terri Spratte

It was really awesome to see you even for a short time, but yet have been praying for you as you and your family have been in Gallup that God will work his will according to his purpose in your lives and as things have unfolded since your journey to Gallup, he has been working his purpose in your lives and bringing blessings and lessons that may have been or be painful. Your choosing to stay in Gallup longer is just one of those things God is working out in your lives and I know that has you continue to seek him all the rest will fall into place and it will be truly a blessing and an amazing adventure in your lives. You will be greatly missed, but God will watch over you and take care and provide what you need. Know that I will be praying for you and there will always be facebook and you can always call (cell # is on my facebook page). As you seek God in what the next phase or step will look like I will be praying as well that God will lead according to his will regarding all that is on your heart and mind in the days and weeks to come. Thanks for being you and a wonderful friend. Take care Friend!

1 08 2008
Jenn

Man. I struggle with the easy road for stability vs. the hard road for fulfillment so often… I really feel you on that one. But all I can say is to follow your heart and it will take you to the right place. And if I know you, which I do… you won’t fail, no matter what the outcome. Regardless of what you choose, you’re lucky to have your family and your friends supporting you. Denver loves you. 😉

2 08 2008
tigerlilysandybanks

The one thing that I have thought about since you left is that since you’re having a great time out there, is God showing you that you need to be there by giving you joy and happiness and peace or is it something that’s just more like a vacation and it seems easy and care-free for the time being? I sure hope that whatever you decide to do makes you the happiest you can be. There’s no point in going through life miserable all the time.

3 08 2008
Mom2

I will pray for wisdom for you as you make all these decisions. I have no answers at all for you, but I know He ‘speaks’ to me in His Word all the time. Consider that right now is an excellent time for buyers (not sellers) of houses, and therefore also maybe more willing/desperate to rent if that is your choice. Dad and I had to re-make the whole school decision every year. Things change and so do your kids and your family life and different decisions work for different seasons. A gift that you have been given is the ability to work wherever you go in any number of areas. Could you combine the above scenarios? I don’t want your mind to go numb, but something to work at that would be steady income until your dream can get up on it’s feet and get some legs under it, so to speak? Like I said, I don’t know what’s best for you, but I know the ONE who does, and you can bet I’ll be speaking to Him about it! …..Is it only 550 mi.? It seems longer, and I’m going to miss you something fierce, but I’m going to be a big girl and not whine about it!
Love you all,

10 08 2008
Aunty Penn

In Grandad’s time, a man usually had to prove to his prospective father-in-law that he could support his daughter. They got a job and stuck with it, or moved on only when they could do so with confidence that the move would bring the same or better financial security. They didn’t spend unnecessarily and made saving as much a ritual as tithing. Women mended rather than buying new clothing, didn’t eat out, shopped garage sales and thrift stores, and took camping vacations, rather than ‘hotel’ vacations. They didn’t borrow, except maybe for a house–then they paid it back, even if it cost them. Their word was like gold.

Our generation was raised by people who mostly experienced the depression as children–and meant for their children to never have such an experience. As a result, we’ve had very little hardship. The VietNam war was hard, to be sure, but it was also odd and unpopular, and our generation learned to distrust government and governing officials of every stripe. We also learned that it was more important to do something you love than to do something ‘just for money’…..even to the detriment of loved ones. We learned to serve ourselves.

Now, your generation has an interesting struggle. What one generation excuses, the next generation abuses. What could be better than to do something you love and also make a good living? I don’t blame you one bit! And I sincerely hope it works out that way. But if it doesn’t, I know you’ll quit yourself like a man, put your God first and be a good steward of all He’s so graciously given you. You won’t lose the precious moments with your wife and children anymore than Jesus lost them with His disciples when he left them to hang on a cross. And I’ve often thought about Jesus and Mary, the sister of Lazarus, for example. Did He lose out in life by never being married or having children of His own? I’m sure He was tempted, and probably even grieved the loss deeply. Deeply. But God’s will isn’t always pleasant.

It’s good, though. We just haven’t explored the depths of God’s idea of ‘good’, yet. It might mean being 550 miles away from loved ones. It might mean being 1300 miles away from loved ones…. It might mean having a job we don’t particularly want. I’m not preaching. I’m not being funny. I’m telling you what I’ve been learning the last eight years.

Obedience IS better than sacrifice. Cheers, Rob of God.

13 08 2008
Granny

Aunty Penn and Mom 2 are my girls. I am so blessed!

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